I hope all of you had a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
I, along with many others suffered from a turkey coma LOL! Good food, good company...that's a true blessing. Even though I wasn't able to be with a few people I hold dear, the day was still super.
2013 has passed so quickly! Hard to believe Christmas is only weeks away. So many things to do and so many things can happen in between. For me, I am refusing to get caught up in the craziness of the masses at the mall. Life has too many important things to be concerned about; and besides, sitting at my fave coffee place writing a blog with a great cup of joe does it for me. It also keeps me halfway sane in an insane world. Come on, you 'd love to be doing the same thing so just chill.
Now, back to The Arena.
After two segments, it's amazing to me the questions and speculations about what is to come. 
Although Avery is a fictional character, she may remind you of someone you know or know of. That's what stories are all about. Even if the story is fiction there is usually a little truth to them. A good story keeps the questions going :)
I hope to publish another installment soon (because I'm not exactly sure the twists and turns to come). This is a "shoot from the hip" story; okay, my author friends would probably call me crazy...but then again I'm not exactly conventional am I?
Well peeps, until the next time, have a super and safe weekend.
~M

The Arena - Christmas Eve Monua Cary 2013 Copyright

My brain is revved up these days about writing. Although I may not be very good at it, there is always room for storytelling. To each his own I suppose.
This particular story started about 30+ years ago in one form or another. A little over a decade ago I put together one page. So here we are. Where do I go from here who knows; it is what it is.
Again, this is going to be in pieces.....so here is another "Piece"...enjoy.

The Arena

Monua Cary

©2013

Christmas Eve

As boring as home life was on a regular basis, today took the absolute cake Avery thought. Boring boring boring! If she could shout it from every corner of the house she would! “My family is so lame!” Avery’s thoughts screamed. Restriction sucks regardless of why, she thought as she paced the floor in her bedroom. The walls seemed to close in around her. Kicking the clothes that laid precariously on the floor, she took little satisfaction as they hurled through the air and silently into the far wall.
“Avery, you know you were wrong in not telling us you went to Bryan’s house without our permission. It isn’t proper for a young lady. In my day..” “I don’t care what you did in your day!” Avery screamed at her mother. “I’m not a kid anymore! You and dad just don’t want me to have a life! I’m tired of you guys controlling my life! I hate you!” turning, she stormed down the hall to her room. Life was just so unfair! Bryan was her best friend and he always had her back. Up until today that is. His dad was the deacon in the church, and no matter what Bryan did, his dad always took up for him. Bryan could get by with murder and his dad would smooth it over. So when they got caught at his house alone without his parents knowing, and of course her mom definitely not knowing, all hell broke loose. Okay, maybe the vodka bottle and glasses on the table along with a little weed was wrong, but hey, it’s our life right? We’re young adults and perfectly able to take care of our own business! Righhhhhtttt. So what does Bryan do? That weasel tells his dad it was my idea! “NOW I’m GROUNDED and my life is OVER!” she yelled to Bryan from her moms’ cell phone, which she conveniently swiped in her tirade down the hall to her room. “Don’t be such a girl Avery, it will all blow over and everything will be back to normal. I’ll talk to my dad and he’ll talk to your dad, and voila! All done.”
“Dude, you have no idea what you’ve done! My mom will KEEP me grounded til I graduate! You threw me under the freakin’ bus man, and I’m really ticked off! How could you do that to me?” “Avery listen, It’s all ok, okay? Trust me chica, have I ever not come through?” Bryan was smooth, and Avery couldn’t resist his charm. He was her best friend after all, and yeah he messed up sometimes, but things got fixed one way or another. His dad also had clout at church and so maybe things would get patched up soon. He’d talk to her parents. But there was that nagging thought about mom. Mom meant what she said and restriction meant just that…no life for who knows how long! Avery could deal with her mom being such a tough case, but when it came to her dad, she couldn’t stand the look of disappointment on his face when she screwed up.  He was her rock, and pillow to soften the blow of moms’ sentencing. Derek McFadden was her hero. Tall, dark and handsome….”for a parent” she thought wryly. Dad was as honest as the day was long. If there really were Christians out there, her dad was the real dealio. Not like Bryan’s dad, the deacon; who always seemed to twist things around to make it seem right. She had to give her parents credit for something, Bryan’s dad was creepy. They were wrong about Bryan though. He was gorgeous and smart. Captain of the football team, he could have any girl at school he wanted, and he wanted ME. He was a real life Thor in the flesh. Mom said “he wants something you shouldn’t give Avery. You’re a lovely young lady and deserve respect. Boys like him only want one thing, and then they’ll be done with you and move on to the next girl. He isn’t a nice boy”….”NICE?” dude! He was nice, and handsome and so…so…perfect! Mom was totally wrong!
“And now I’m freaking grounded!” yelling once again, hoping her parents would hear her loud and clear from the kitchen.
“I’ve got to get outta here! But how?”  
A light tapping on her door, Avery looked over at the closed entrance to her room. “They can all go pound salt for all I care!” keeping those thoughts locked inside of her brain and not onto her tongue…that would mean forever shackled to this room!
“Avery?” her dad said softly. “Av? Can you hear me hon?”  “Crap!” she thought. Dad always called her Av, sounded like Abe, but with a V. Calling her Av always made her calm and feel…well, feel loved. Like being wrapped in a down blanket on a wintry day by the fire. Dad could always soothe her fears and keep her from completely going berserk; unlike her mother who was always preaching to her about Jesus and His love, and getting saved; all that Christian stuff. Didn’t her mom know she wasn’t interested in Jesus right now. She had plenty of time to think about Christianity. Maybe when she got older and life was almost over, she might. Whatever. It always made her upset when Mrs. Susan McFadden would make her feel like she was always going to hell for something. Mom was Miss Perfect! Never said a bad word in her life probably!
Tap tap, “Av?”, “yeah dad I’m here.” Her staunch resolve melting for the bazillionth time, she opened the door to find her dad smiling that perfect smile of his. Reaching his arms to her, he pulled her into a big hug. “C’mon, let’s go have some of those cookies your mom has been slaving over”, kissing her on the forehead and down the hall they went. “I love you dad, but this is far from over!” she thought as she put her arm around the only hero that walked the earth…well, except Bryan of course.

To be continued......

 

The Arena - Monua Cary Copyright 2013

As I mentioned awhile back, I am writing a "blog story"...it will show up in pieces but I am having fun writing. Pardon the grammatical errors, it's storytelling, not english class LOL!

Enjoy.....


PROLOGUE

The concrete was cold and hard, pebbles were burrowing into the soft skin of her back and arms. The discomfort was nothing compared to the pain from her swollen and bruised jaw, thanks to Bryan, her so-called best friend and ally.
What day is it? Time? How long has it been since....It was holiday season wasn't it? A time when families came together in love and lots of great food. When moms and dads, "oh God I miss them" Avery anguished, would tell stories and bring presents. She could smell the cookies in the oven, and her mouth watered at the thought. When was the last time she ate? It's been days? A flashback of dad smiling while he served his famous cocoa. The warmth from the fireplace that separated the living room from the kitchen. Okay, mom had that awful Christmas music blaring; "what I would give to go back to that moment". With her Bible in one hand and a cookie in the other, mom would sit us down in the living room and read the Christmas Story to her and Katie, the little blonde haired cherub who called her "her big Sissie". The tree was fabulous. One of those pine trees that stood majestic above all others, painstakingly decorated by her and her family. The ceiling in the living room was 20 feet and the tree, Angel at the top, almost touched it. There must have been a couple of hundred ornaments and a thousand lights, all alight as if to shout the Glory of the Season. It was a time of being thankful for God's Provision mom said. A time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, the One Who came to save His people from their sins.
"Yeah right, You took my family from me"...as the tears fell freely down her cheeks. Shaken out of her vision of past happiness by the rattling of keys, Avery was torn back to reality.
She felt very cold, not from the room, but from the terror you felt when a predator was about. The hair stands up on your body and your stomach tightens and nausea threatens to take over.
Feeling alone and very vulnerable, she looked up at the ceiling, "why can't I feel you now?" "hopeless, you don't exist do You?" as she shook her head.
"No, He doesn't Avery", a voice crackled from the speaker mounted in the wall on the other side of the room. "Avery, we can help you. Forget about that Bible stuff. You can be free, just say the word. Your mom and dad would be proud of you". "Bryan? Bryan is that you?". Barely able to sit up due to lack of sleep and food, she sat upright with a start. She'd kill Bryan if she could.
"No, it's daddy". This time she bolted to her feet and hobbled as quickly as her bruised body would allow til she stood directly underneath the black speaker box. DADDY! Is it true? Maybe he was here to rescue her from this hell! Maybe God missed him or left him on earth to whisk her away to safety!
Could it be?
"Daddy?"........

WHEN CANCER HITS....YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I have had many friends and family hit with cancer; some survived, some didn't. It is a loss that can only be understood by those affected by it. Cancer is an ugly word, and it brings a bleakness with it that teeters on a wall of faith and unbelief at the same time. A hope that may or may not play out like we want it to. 
Never having cancer myself, I don't know the feeling. I can't understand the earth shattering realization of a diagnosis that can bring utter hopelessness and the full force of ones mortality right up in your face. No, I don't know the anxiety of having doctors appointments up the wazoo or the pain of a bone marrow test. The physical inconvenience of a chemo-port is unimaginable let alone the taste of chemicals during many hours of treatment for months on end. Then there is the fatigue, nausea, throwing up and body pain that the cancer itself brings. Tons of medications day after day...
No, I don't understand.
But...what I do understand is, the sheer terror a mother feels when her only child tells her that they have cancer. Regardless of the survival rate, there is always the percentage of those who didn't make it. Having Faith that they will be healed...or not. Trying to put on a brave face when they are so positive and you're going through an emotional hell.
Every time you see a picture of your child, you are reminded of the innocence they had and no matter how old they are, that's who you see, your baby, your child.
The feelings of hopefulness...and helplessness. 
The importance of supporting your child and keeping as much stress away from them as possible, and forgetting sometimes that although they look "okay", they aren't. 
I know these feelings well. The times when all you can do is rub their back, make soup, or run out in the middle of the night for meds and special needs. 
No matter how well things are going, there is a nagging "what if" in the back of your mind. Maybe you're enjoying a movie or music, or just working, then out of nowhere something triggers full on tears. 
Thoughts are powerful. Feelings are powerful. Faith is powerful. Doubt is powerful.
I just want to encourage you that these feelings are normal. It's okay. You will make it. Be the support they need. Love them, hold them. Never let a day go by that you don't tell them you love them. Life is precious. My child is in a healing pattern and I'm thankful for every moment he is in my life. Keep your chin up. I understand your pain as a parent and as a support person. Life throws nasty curve balls, but throw them right back. 
When you're feeling like hell has broken loose, there are those of us who will help hold your arms up. We've been there and we will help you through it. Through the emotions. At least I will. You will make mistakes, that's par for the course. You won't do everything right, that's okay too. You won't always be a perfect support, get over it. Just remember... YOU ARE NOT ALONE....