WHEN CANCER HITS....YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I have had many friends and family hit with cancer; some survived, some didn't. It is a loss that can only be understood by those affected by it. Cancer is an ugly word, and it brings a bleakness with it that teeters on a wall of faith and unbelief at the same time. A hope that may or may not play out like we want it to. 
Never having cancer myself, I don't know the feeling. I can't understand the earth shattering realization of a diagnosis that can bring utter hopelessness and the full force of ones mortality right up in your face. No, I don't know the anxiety of having doctors appointments up the wazoo or the pain of a bone marrow test. The physical inconvenience of a chemo-port is unimaginable let alone the taste of chemicals during many hours of treatment for months on end. Then there is the fatigue, nausea, throwing up and body pain that the cancer itself brings. Tons of medications day after day...
No, I don't understand.
But...what I do understand is, the sheer terror a mother feels when her only child tells her that they have cancer. Regardless of the survival rate, there is always the percentage of those who didn't make it. Having Faith that they will be healed...or not. Trying to put on a brave face when they are so positive and you're going through an emotional hell.
Every time you see a picture of your child, you are reminded of the innocence they had and no matter how old they are, that's who you see, your baby, your child.
The feelings of hopefulness...and helplessness. 
The importance of supporting your child and keeping as much stress away from them as possible, and forgetting sometimes that although they look "okay", they aren't. 
I know these feelings well. The times when all you can do is rub their back, make soup, or run out in the middle of the night for meds and special needs. 
No matter how well things are going, there is a nagging "what if" in the back of your mind. Maybe you're enjoying a movie or music, or just working, then out of nowhere something triggers full on tears. 
Thoughts are powerful. Feelings are powerful. Faith is powerful. Doubt is powerful.
I just want to encourage you that these feelings are normal. It's okay. You will make it. Be the support they need. Love them, hold them. Never let a day go by that you don't tell them you love them. Life is precious. My child is in a healing pattern and I'm thankful for every moment he is in my life. Keep your chin up. I understand your pain as a parent and as a support person. Life throws nasty curve balls, but throw them right back. 
When you're feeling like hell has broken loose, there are those of us who will help hold your arms up. We've been there and we will help you through it. Through the emotions. At least I will. You will make mistakes, that's par for the course. You won't do everything right, that's okay too. You won't always be a perfect support, get over it. Just remember... YOU ARE NOT ALONE....

RELEVANCE TO IRREVERENCE

I read an article recently about why young people leave the church, and it totally hit the proverbial "nail on the head"; however  I want to take this subject a little further.  

First off, I am not blasting people or church, and I am not being judgmental. Each of us will answer to God for our lives. In saying that, I will now continue.... :)

The church is trying to "fit in" and be "cool" and in doing so, our attempt to be relevant in a world who needs Jesus, can turn into "irreverent". How? do you ask. Let's start with: Holiness. If we mirror the world in ways that we are supposed to be set apart, why would the world want to change? If our form of dress, conversation, lifestyle, how we treat others, and "accountability quotient" reflects an unchanged life, well, only you know who you are. 

We serve a Holy God, and He doesn't conform to 21st Century social mindsets and graces; although the world constantly tries to tailor God to their image. He said that He changes not, and that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The difference the church makes will only come about when we know who we are in Christ and live as the individual He called us to be for Him, not Him for us. Are we in relationship or religion?

People are seeking fulfillment in their heart, a stability and peace that they can't put their finger on. We are wired for a spiritual relationship with our Heavenly Father and the only way the world can see Him is through us. The Holy Spirit draws people to Jesus, we don't. You might have a great worship team and a dozen programs going on all week (there isn't anything wrong with that), but the fact remains, are you living a Spirit-Filled life so that others are drawn by your witness to the One who called you?
In compromising holiness, your actions can be not only irrelevant, but eventually irreverent because of trying to please people by being "cool". People really don't desire that believe it or not. As Christians, we don't fit in. The Bible says the world will HATE us for His namesake. Guess what? That isn't the popular place to be is it? The Bible also says that if you're friends with the world you are an ENEMY of God. 

Here is another way we should be different: John 13:35 says "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."  If we are bickering among one another, hating one another, talking about one another, the love of Christ isn't there. In fact, 1 John 3:15 calls anyone who hates their brother or sister (in the Lord) a murderer. And 1 John 4:20 states that if you say you love God and hate your brother you are a liar. Pretty harsh? I didn't say it, the Lord did, take it up with Him.

I understand that there are ministries out there who are in it to make money, and it is shameful. So at this juncture I want to encourage you to examine your life. Are you living a life set apart for the Lord? Is church a routine? Are your prayers dry and you feel unfulfilled? Paul said he died daily. You will be tested, you will face challenges. You will never "measure up" to the worlds' standards and life is going to be rough. Til you draw your last breath you will face many things. But you know what? You CAN do all things through CHRIST who strengthens you. If you draw near to God, He WILL draw near to you.
Remember, it's relationship not religion.

Don't get caught up with the "Joneses", you really won't be happy if you're too busy trying to please others instead of trying to please God. Let your actions speak louder than anything you have to say. Trust me when I say, people are watching your life when you claim to be a Christian. Christian means you are a follower of Christ and that you are to be like Him....it may seem like your family or your co-workers aren't paying attention, but they are. They may give you a bad time and make your life miserable, but they watch you like a hawk. People really want to know if there is a stability and wholeness in the world, and to know if God really exists and He is Who He says He is. So, they watch YOU because you are an ambassador and representative of the Kingdom of God. 

In closing, if you are not living the Lords' best for your life, and you know you're missing out on a relationship with Him like you should have, I would like to pray with you....

"Jesus, you know my heart. I've been away a long time and I don't know you like I should. I'm sorry and I ask your forgiveness. Spirit of the Lord, please draw my heart back to where it needs to be, in relationship with my Savior. Help me to be who I need to be, teach me and guide me, comfort me. Lord, you are awesome and I praise your Holy name. Father, I love you and I thank you for your mercy and your goodness. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. In Jesus name, Amen

My heart is to see the church being about the Fathers' business; that we lead by example and live in relationship with our Lord so that the world will see a light in these dark times.

May the Lord keep you safe and in His love, ~M

OFFENDED CHRISTIANS - No, you don't get your own corner of Heaven

Oft times when I get ticked off about something, I have to have an outlet. And writing seems to do it for me. In fact I co-authored a book on Personal Accountability and Responsibility because I was really mad about the lack of same in regards to high ranking martial artists. By the way, I am a 7th degree Black Belt myself, which allows an older broad like myself the platform to do that sort of thing.

So here I am again...ticked off at people who have offense in their heart towards others and think it's okay. Like they're going to have their own corner of Heaven to stay away from the folks they couldn't stand on Earth. Let me fill you in on a little secret, don't get all comfy thinking you're going to make it there at all if you have offense or hatred in your heart towards a brother or sister in the Lord. 

But Monua, they did this or that...so what. If you don't let it go you put yourself in a position above God. Yeah, I said that. See, when we accept Jesus as our Savior, He forgives us of our sins. He can do that. Now, if you think you're the Savior and can hold sins against others, you basically are delusional not to mention in spiritual trouble. Have I dealt with this? Oh yeah. Many times. Just when I thought I was over something, that person came around or did their usual "stuff" and that upset rose up in my emotions. Which meant I hadn't forgiven them. I had to repent, again. 

This is the dealio, let it go. If you offended someone, go to them and apologize. If they accept it great! If not, then it's on their head not yours. Move on. Don't allow yourself to be in a self-imposed emotional prison over it any longer. Visualize letting it go and handing it over to God.

I know people who still hold past marriage crap against their ex...and the ex is a Christian. And that person is supposed to be a Christian themselves! Really?! 

No, you don't get to avoid them in Heaven, if you even make it there! Make it right here so you can avoid a whole lot of trouble in the future.

Yeah, I'm being real here folks. Get over your offense. Pray about it and let it go. There are times when things won't get rectified with the other person. It is what it is. But your destiny and purpose is more important than other people's hangups. Simple as that.

This is where I back up what I'm teaching you, with Scripture. By the way, if you don't believe in the Bible or Jesus, that's okay too. But trust me when I say, that disease can follow hatred, and so does depression. Just sayin'....don't defeat your own purpose by cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Anyway, 1 John 4:20 says "If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?"NLT.

1 John 2:9 says if you say you're in the light and you hate your brother you're still in darkness.

So do us all a favor, stop calling yourself a follower of Christ if you are rude and mean and say bad things about other believers. It's not up to you to be judge and jury. In fact, you're placing judgement on your own head. Just sayin' .

Treat others how you want to be treated. However, I'm not saying you have to go buy curtains with these people, just be cool. Be a good example of how Christ wants you to be. Pray for them and ask God to fix it. Be courteous, and let your actions be top drawer. But do yourself a favor, let it go. It's rough and unpleasant, but people will be people and you can't change anyone but YOU.

I totally understand this situation so I'm speaking from experience. I still deal with it. But I found that asking the Lord to fix it takes a huge burden off of my heart. It would be great if we could all just get along with each other. But reality is reality and not everyone is going to like you or forgive you or be nice to you...even if you apologize or be nice to them or whatever amends you do.

Trust me when I say, I hold my Christian brothers and sisters to account. Have you ever been embarrassed because a family member was acting like a total bonehead? Well, some of you need to stop making the rest of your "family" look bad and straighten up. 

Just because you go to a burger shop doesn't make you a hamburger, so just because you go to church and look and act good, doesn't make you a true Believer or Christian. 

Accountability is doing the right things the right way and for the right reasons. Personal Accountability and Responsibility is moment by moment for a lifetime. Your destiny and legacy depend on it. Humanity needs people who are productive in building into the lives of others. Whether or not you belong to a particular faith or no faith at all even.

But yes, this is written mainly to my Christian family. Straighten up and fly right, like my mom would say.

So, in closing, I would like to encourage you to reflect on what you might be doing to hold yourself back. Offense is a huge destiny blocker. It keeps you in a prison you can't see. That's how unforgiveness works peeps. It hurts you and affects everyone else around you.

Be the "bigger" person. Be the example to your family and friends that you should be. Trust me when I say, it isn't words that make a person. In fact, shut up and let your life do the speaking.

Just a thought :) ~M

MY OPINION ON THE TRAGIC STORY REGARDING TRAYVON MARTIN

Today the leader of the free world spoke about how "this could have been him 35 years ago". And after reading the article on MSNBC, I had to agree to some extent. My Pastor is a black man and I happen to know that because of the color of his skin, people (depending on the neighborhood) have shown the type of behavior exemplified in what the media has been touting since Zimmerman was found not guilty.
I believe that what happened was a tragic loss of life that should never have happened. I believe Zimmerman was stupid and acted out of stupidity and disregard for another human being. In my opinion he acted irresponsibly with his own life, because it could have turned out the other way. But, the Judicial system that our Country has, said not guilty, and that is to be respected to a high degree. I have a son with cancer and the thought of losing him terrifies me. Now, I also understand what it is like to lose a family member to senseless violence. With a firearm, and in a restaurant. My stepbrother wasn't black, he was half Mexican, and the "crush" of my life. Now, the difference I see here is, did we rile up the city against each other because of what happened? Did we cause riot or strife in our grief? Did we bring up race or color of skin? I reply with a resounding NO!
I grew up in the hood. My friends were Native American and most of them were Black, and my "Aunt" was black; and her kids were my cousins (not blood but close enough!) You might say my family was "color-blind". We lived by judging people by their character, not the color of their skin.
There is no amount of political agenda or riot or anything negative, that will bring back to life this young man. I grieve with his family.
But, in America, thousands of underprivileged young people are exploited, murdered and sold for human trafficking because of the blind eye of your everyday joe-schmoe. And those in power refuse to raise a hand to help (of course this is my own observation and opinion). Will harder gun laws stop violence with a firearm? That's like saying alcoholics will stop killing people with their cars. Bad people do bad things with whatever they have because why? Because they do not have a respect for human life.
What I see happening here is not compassion for this young man or the hell his parents are going through. I see an agenda to push legislation through that some people were not able to in the first place.
I also see women being forced back into silence from their abusers because they will no longer be able  to legally, justifiably, protect themselves with a firearm. I say this because the talk of the day is going against the "stand your ground" law. When I grew up, you just plain protected yourself and the justice system weighed the circumstances, period. Seems we have a name for everything these days.
"Balance" cannot be legislated. Personal Accountability and Responsibility cannot be legislated. Turning Americans against one another is not the answer.
What we need to be doing is living our lives by EXAMPLE, in true Honor, Integrity, Loyalty and Courage. How do we do that? One person at a time. You see, Personal Accountability and Responsibility is moment by moment for a lifetime. Future generations are counting on us to lead the way. But if we lead the way with a legislative leash around our necks, all you will get is rebellion and division.
Let's start figuring out WHO we are as individuals before we dictate how others should be. You are not going to be able to embrace the individuality of others or absorb their weaknesses if you don't confront yourself. History has great examples to follow: Jesus, Gandihi, Martin Luther King Jr.; it's not impossible. Personally, I am a follower of Jesus; but I learn many things from great men like I previously mentioned. They LIVED it, they walked the talk.
In closing let me say this. Division can only cause degeneration and degradation, but Unity will be the solution for a multitude of issues of the day.
Let us reason together in our grief. Not only for this young man, but for everyone who is suffering in our Great Land we call America. Let's be the solution, not the problem.
Just a thought... ~M

I'M BACK AND LOTS OF THINGS ARE GOING ON!!!!!!

Hello all!

I decided to do the unthinkable and close my Facebook page!!!

Which means I will be doing things semi-old fashioned for now, and actually try to communicate in a more personal way.

What I have decided to do is concentrate on articles, short stories, and what's going on in my world.

Some of it will be of help...and some won't, but that's cool. 

Each of us travel a road that will hopefully intersect with one another at some point, so I hope to see and hear from y'all soon!

I am sooooo looking forward to writing more and sharing my thoughts with you!

Have a super rest of your week!

Monua Cary

TRENDS = FRIENDS

Have you ever been on the receiving end of criticism regarding your fashion style? Or maybe the way you wear your hair, the car you drive...and god forbid...the kind of dog you own! At some point in your life you have or you still do. And for what? Tell me, what is the whole purpose? The answer is, so you can be popular and accepted. Really? I have a feeling I'm headed for a rant. Look around you, listen to the news or read the headlines. What is the number one topic these days? Bullying, that's what is topping blogs, news, and mindsets. Now you tell me, why? Because of how someone looks or talks, or what they're wearing. On one hand you've got the soccer mom who's pissed off because some kid made fun of her kid, but on the other side of the conversation she's rolling her eyes at the dreadful way her neighbor wears her makeup. What I'm finding here is people who are out of balance with WHO they are. Frankly, most people have no idea who they are. Social media tells you that this season you have to do this or that, or look this way or that, and if you don't you will not be popular or gain new friends. Excuse me, but the last time I looked, I was born into a free country to look and be who I wish to be. My individuality isn't for sale peeps. And....here's the clincher...I don't need YOUR opinion to validate who I am as a person! Each of us are unique in every way imaginable. If you ask me, some people are more concerned with what attire they're wearing on the outside than the attitude they carry on the inside. And it's that kind of attitude that breeds contempt for others individuality. If blue was the only color in the world, or purple the only color skin, this world would be a very boring place to live. What makes life exciting is the variety of creation and everything that encompasses fruition of creativity! Seriously people, if you want to be enslaved by the current trends of social mediocrity, that's your deal. But as for me, I love the fact that I can look all around me and see the beauty of humanity with all of its flaws, and in all of its unique grandeur. If it takes putting me into a social cookie cutter to be accepted...well I guess I'm just going to have to pass on that. There are others out there who feel the same as I do, but they haven't taken that step of faith into the realization that they were born unique and that their destiny on this planet was designed specifically for them and them alone to fulfill. I want to encourage you today, to stop and take a look around you. Inhale the wonder of the world around you and realize that you are not alone. Your individuality is what makes you so special. So what if you're not into the latest styles. Who cares if your car isn't the newest, or your house isn't considered chic on the block. Just change your mind and believe, that it just doesn't matter. You are who you are. Obviously we can all make alterations in our lives to be the best "us" we can be. Because humanity counts on us to pave the way for the next generation to benefit from our legacy. What do you have to offer? Maybe little in the eyes of some, but in the big picture, you matter. And your life does directly effect someone somewhere. It's your choice as to how you want to impact humanity; good, bad, or indifferent. Either way, you will in some manner. Just remember. You are YOU and you are special and unique and I applaud you for it. All it takes is realizing that you add to the variety and beauty of this world and no one can take that from you unless you allow it. Your choices are that...your choices. So, I encourage you to make the choice to be a person of Honor, Integrity, Loyalty and Courage. These things last forever my friend.

Ninja Hugs, ~M

HEALING ISN'T ALWAYS MANDATORY BUT YOUR FAITH IS

I know what you're thinking...."God can heal everything!". So, first off YES He can. But...sometimes He says NO! Yes I did say that! Here, let me say it again...GOD SAYS NO! In all of His infinite love, kindness, and miraculous doing, He wants us to rely totally on Him for Who He is and not what He can do for us.

Unfortunately the 21st century church has grown so fat on His promises and what He will provide, that we have forgotten that included in His blessing is suffering (Philippians 1:29). We live in a gimme gimme gimme mentality, tailoring the God of all creation to what fits us and our wants...and not us forming our lives to His will for our lives.

Remember in the Book of Luke when Jesus was teaching (Chapter 5), and some men came carrying their friend on a mat to Jesus; they couldn't get through the crowd so they tore a hole in the roof and brought him down that way? They had the faith that Jesus could heal their friend if they could only get to Him. But when they finally got there after all that work, Jesus saw their faith and said "Friend, your sins are forgiven". Imagine what they were thinking! After all the trouble getting there, tearing a hole in a strangers roof, then getting their friend to Jesus, all He says is your sins are forgiven? Wait a minute! I'm sure that was like cold water being thrown in their face. In actuality, forgiveness was all that was needed. But because Jesus knew what was going on in the hearts of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, he said to them "but that you may know that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins..."He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home".

I believe to strengthen their faith, the man was healed, but it wasn't mandatory at all. What was important was the spiritual condition of the man. To live trapped in the present with a broken body and a broken soul would be hell on earth. And then to die in his sins, well, I think we know the answer to that one (Matthew 18:9).

Paul is a great example of a man who's spiritual power and faith turned the world on it's ear; however, in order for him not to be conceited, he was given a "thorn in his flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me" (1 Corinthians 12). No one really knows what that "thorn" was, but we do know, that it wasn't comfortable, and it was a physical issue. Come on, we're talking about Paul here! A man of GREAT FAITH! But what was more important here? His spiritual condition? Or his bodily comfort? Paul "pleaded" with the Lord three times to take it away. And guess what the Lord said? A resounding NO! The Lord explained it to Paul this way, "But He said to me, MY GRACE (favor, sanctification, approval) IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, for my POWER is made PERFECT in WEAKNESS." Try to explain that one in today's church!

Does this mean we shouldn't ask the Lord or fervently pray for healing? Absolutely not! We are supposed to ask, pray, and stay before the Lord in all things and do it with thanksgiving. But sometimes the answer is no. Don't allow your faith to waiver because He is faithful to bring us through every trial and every sickness (because by His stripes we are healed), but as a parent, sometimes the answer is no.

We don't know why, and we don't understand it, but know this, "ALL THINGS work together for GOOD to them that LOVE God, to them who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Trying to figure out why the Lord does what He does isn't what we should be focusing on because He did say "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord."

But that, is what faith is all about. Trusting Him no matter what and no matter the answer. Just know that He is faithful and loves you! We are His creation and His children and the end result is eternity with Him.

Many are those who have prayed for healing but they went on to be with the Lord anyway. This is tough to swallow, but in the grief is comfort knowing that there is no more pain and suffering for our loved ones. There are those who receive healing...YAY! Their faith is stronger and their testimony may be what brings another to Christ. We just never know. But a "no" doesn't negate the Power of our Creator, nor does it mean He doesn't care about you and your situation. What is important, is your faith and reliance on Him.

In closing, I want to encourage you to stand strong in faith and in the power of His might. Never give up!

Ninja Hugs and Warrior Blessings!